booty

Ruby

pissfuckerslut

TITLES = [
    "pussypounder", "titfucker", "fartsucker", "gamer", "gyno", "assassin", "piss-slut",
    "cumgoblin", "vampire", "slut", "hobbit", "fucker", "wanker", "dancer", "stripper", "hobo",

Ruby

slut

FANNISH_TITLES = %w[
    fan lvr lover slut addict master god stan
  ].freeze

Ruby

pissfuckerslut

TITLES = [
    "pussypounder", "titfucker", "fartsucker", "gamer", "gyno", "assassin", "piss-slut",
    "cumgoblin", "vampire", "slut", "hobbit", "fucker", "wanker", "dancer", "stripper", "hobo",
    "hooker", "dragqueen", "gorilla", "kitten", "tramp",
    "stalker", "stud", "cosplayer", "streamer", "vlogger", "snatcher",
    "astronaut", "author", "baker", "barber", "beautician", "biologist", "bricklayer",

Ruby

gangbang

enema
    frotting
    throatfucking
    creampies
    necrophilia
    rimming
    gangbang

Ruby

assholedickpussytwat

BODY_PARTS = %w[
    ass pussy dick head face legs tits dick nipples pits
    cheeks face vag snatch twat cornhole ballsack beaver asshole
    boner butt buttcheek jugs vulva pubes elbows armpits snatch
    cervix clit gspot
  ].freeze

Ruby

gangbangdeepthroat

"jerk off", "impregnate", "noogie", "necrotize", "oogle", "fist", "pluck", "ravish",
    "suck off", "squeeze", "cherish", "gangbang", "deepthroat", "pee on", "investigate"
  ].freeze

Ruby

gangbang

rimming
    gangbang
    pussyworship

Ruby

jizz

BODILY_FLUIDS = %w[
    tears cum jizz pee poop juice semen cumm nut sweat
  ].freeze

Ruby

bitchbastard

s << " With a fighting style that combined the #{%W(speed aroma spirit gassy\soutbursts sexual\sprowess lewdness tendency\stoward\sinappropriate\stouching).sample} of #{["a bull", "a seasoned expert", "a tiger", "the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met", "a drunken sailor", "a scampering ferret"].sample} with #{%W(depressingly\sinconsistent surprising unbeatable erotic never-before-seen senseless sensual frankly\sunnecessary sizzling drunkenly\sunpredictable).sample} #{%W(speed power levels\sof\sviolence sensuality passion brutality).sample}, termed \"#{%W(Elegant Ferocious Invincible).sample} #{%W(Monkey Tiger Elephant Bastard Falcon Armadillo Strapping\sFieldhand Hulk).sample} Style\", they soon gained the #{%W(attention praise erections sensitive\stouchings admiration).sample} of #{["their master", "some homeless guy", "perverts all over the world", "nudists", "pretentious assholes everywhere", "top-notch motherfuckers from around the world", "instructors", "hippies", "commanders", "pretty much everybody"].sample}."

Ruby

motherfucker

when 1 
		s << "\n\n#{["Following the", "In the aftermath of the", "When the dust settled after the"].sample} #{["heroic but sort of misguided", "grueling", "touching"].sample} #{["battle","Kaiju battle","clusterfuck"].sample}, pilot was #{["angrily", "immediately", "reluctantly"].sample} promoted to #{["Corporal", "General", "Chief Asskicker", "Head Badass", "bat boy for the Mets", "potato peeler, first class", "the general's dogwalker", "the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Fucked-With"].sample} by #{["their commanding officer", "God himself", "their first grade teacher", "a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about", "that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever", "some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest", "the President of what remained of the world", "pretty much the only other person that was still alive", "by popular demand", "a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people"].sample}."

Ruby

fuckanalfuckingmotherfuckershit

@@skill_relations = ["wished that the pilots would improve their", "envied the pilots'", "complimented the pilots'", "expressed concern over the pilots'", "heaped praise upon the pilots'", "been awestruck by the pilots'"]
	@@skills = ["oral hygiene","sexual health","lovemaking abilities","intensity","dedication to partying","general cleanliness","dedication to asskicking","alcohol tolerance","choice of personal grooming habits","ability to chug a six-pack","masturbation habits","combat effectivness"]
	@@battle_hardships = ["absorbing huge amounts of damage", "being slightly buzzed", "being completely drunk", "being half-asleep", "facing attack from all angles", "confronting multiple Kaiju", "still thinking about that blow job from last night", "feeling exhausted", "looking like fucking morons"]
	@@battle_abilities = ["look really cool", "perform handjobs", "unleash devastating attacks", "protect their friends", "maintain an emotionless expression", "yell like a motherfucker", "remain calm", "party", "show no signs of last night's anal pounding", "boost the morale of everybody around them", "provide inspirational speeches", "fuck shit up"]
	@@attack_ing = %W(pulverizing destroying fucking\sup murdering slaughtering fingerbanging fucking\sup speed-humping)
	@@kaiju_targets = %W(brains faces limbs feelings emotions genitals reproductive\sorgans assholes friends children heads)
	@@operation_objectives = ["end this war", "capture a living Kaiju", "relieve boredom", " ...well, for no apparent reason, but it looked really cool", "blow off some steam", "get laid", "figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did"]

Ruby

dildo

@@weapon_modifiers = %W(Rocket Multiple Breathtaking Wrathful Electric Antimatter Titanium Torrential Finishing Fatal Divine Poisonous Toxic Venomous Secret Affectionate Crushing Unhealthy Detrimental Killer Murderous Adorable Aggressive Sloppy Ill-Advised Majestic Violent Heavenly Critical Invisible Laser Flaming Sexy Nuclear Ancient Three-Way Overly-Elaborate Elaborate Predictable Confusing Ineffective Inefficient)
	@@weapon_suffixes = %W{Whirlwind Storm Flood Inferno Assault Barrage Technique Attack Festival Spasm Seizure Penetation Eruption Raid Volley Formation Overload Thrust Tantrum Armageddeon Orgy }
	@@weapon_nouns = %W(Knife Battle-Axe Sword Arrow Dagger Boomerang Cutlass Halberd Staff Baseball\sBat Dildo Club Cricket\sBat Hockey\sStick Gauntlet Blaster Beam Kick Punch Whip Cudgel Knuckles Missiles Cannon Chainsaw Shield Bomb Black\sHole\sGenerator Slicer Broadsword Laser Machine\sGun Machete Hammer Mallet Flamethrower Scissor Needle Crossbow Frying\sPan Soup\sLadle)
	@@weapon_verbs = %W(Kick Bash Punch Stomp Choke-Hold Chop Pound Headbutt Suplex Dropkick Suckerpunch Caress Uppercut Haymaker Strike Blast Bodyslam Nippletwister Wedgie Bodycheck Tackle Jump-Kick)
	@@weapon_emotions = %W(Justice Happiness Vengeance Knowledge Retribution Blood Oblivion Doom Suffering Orgasmic\sBliss Satisfaction Nothingness Salvation Revenge Wrath Darkness Despair Joyfulness Playfulness Enlightenment Sexuality Judgement Madness Destruction Devastation Damnation Confusion Luck Desperation)

Ruby

shitcocaine

when 2
			s = "#{%W(Abusive Loving Homeless Robot).sample} family provided a strict diet of #{%W(encouragement love daily\sswordfighting\slessons lima\sbeans popcorn organic\svegetables grain\salcohol cocaine unconditional\slove\sand\sacceptance...\sand old\smartial\sarts\smovies).sample} and #{%W(beatings church-going intellectual\sstimulation religion gin tough\slove comic\sbooks).sample}."
		when 3
			s = "Mother was #{["a travelling Gypsy", "a migrant worker", "a loving parent", "a sexy robot", "a secretary", "a famous CEO", "a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong", "a drunken brawler", "the kind of mom you wish you had", "the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls"].sample}. Father was #{["a homeless man", "a brillian scientist", "a terrifying cyborg", "one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for", "a mild-mannered librarian", "an arms dealer", "a drug lord", "deeply in love with her", "prone to fits of melancholy", "the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well."].sample}."
	end

Ruby

assholedickfuckingorgasmpussy

s << "\n\n#{["Experts", "Haters", "Critics", "Jealous people", "So-called experts"].sample} have described their #{["robot piloting", "Jaeger tactics", "combat aptitude", "sensual kissing", "partying"].sample} style as \"#{["weak-ass", "embarrassing", "amateur", "second-rate"].sample} #{["bullshit", "weaksauce", "dick-slapping", "ass-grabbing"].sample}\", while #{["others have", "mostly everybody else has", "people who actually know what they're talking about have"].sample} described it as \"#{["awesome", "seriously cool", "completely dope", "devastatingly effective", "brutally effecient", "the kind of thing legends are made of", "instant boner material", "the kind of thing you jack off to", "basically their new religion"].sample}\" and \"some of the #{%W(coolest best toughest most\sheroic).sample} #{%W(mayhem stuff Jaeger\spiloting).sample} since #{["my dad", "Godzilla", "Mike Tyson", "Arnold Schwartzeneggar", "Gen. George Patton", "Bruce Lee", "gonhorrea"].sample} #{["ravaged", "invaded", "destroyed", "sexually dominated"].sample} #{["Barcelona", "people left and right", "my ass", "most of my hometown", "nipples everywhere", "all of my friends", "a bus-load of orphaned babies", "your mom", "my face"].sample}.\""
	when 3

		s << "\n\n\"#{["Son, you", "You", "Buddy", "Listen up, rookie", "People need to understand"].sample}, you can #{["read the textbooks", "study the training videos", "beat your dick to YouTube videos"].sample} #{["all you want","all day long"].sample},\" says one #{["commanding officer", "flight instructor", "homeless guy on a park bench"].sample}. \"But when you're actually out there #{["fighting", "with a dick in your ass", "trying to save the Earth", "fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension", "partying", "with the fate of the world in your hands"].sample}, #{["and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged", "and you're completely drunk", "and you have an unexpected orgasm", "and you have a dick in your mouth", "and somebody offers you a beer"].sample} you better forget everything #{["you learned", "they taught you", "Mommy said", "you think you know"].sample} and #{["react", "adapt"].sample} to the #{["new", "life or death", "fucked-up", "crazy"].sample} situation #{["right in front of you", "even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating", "no matter how high you are", "at hand"].sample}. If you don't, #{["the Earth is fucked", "somebody's going to get pregnant", "everybody's going to think you're a pussy", "basically everybody is going to die", "you're fucked", "you might as well be playing for the Mets"].sample}. #{["And trust me", "Believe me", "Trust me"].sample}, this is one #{["pilot", "soldier", "crazy asshole"].sample} who #{["totally gets", "understands", "has mastered", "will never have any clue about"].sample} that.\""
	end 

	s << "\n\nPsyche eval recommendation: #{["Promote immediately", "May be unfit for duty", "Can excel with a little love", "Needs more nipple touching", "Just wants to be loved", "Does not meet expectations", "A rare blend of sensuality and passion", "Will perform if given enough gummi bears", "Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday", "Just needs cuddling", "Needs copious amounts of coddling", "Is probably a fucking maniac", "Could save us all someday"].sample}."

CSS

hentai

h3{color:#427EB4;border-color:#C2EBEF; }
.profile_section_header {color:#427EB4;border-color:#C2EBEF; }
.accent {color:#F16482; border-color:#C2EBEF; }
#mh_left{width:100%; background-image: url(hentai-tastic-left.gif);}
#mh_outer{width:100%; background-image: url(hentai-tastic-middle.gif);}
#mh_right{width:100%; background-image: url(hentai-tastic-right.gif);}
.shadetabs li a{color: #427EB4;}

Ruby

shitfuckingheroin

s << " #{["According to survivors", "Classified intel indicates", "Due to their actions", "Thanks to their efforts"].sample}, most of #{["the city", "the town"].sample} was #{["saved", "destroyed"].sample} and the rest was #{["burned to the ground", "covered in sexual fluids", "covered in blood", "consumed by Biebermania", "incinerated", "pretty happy about it", "pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really", "a goddamn mess", "full of ungrateful assholes"].sample}."

	when 2 
		s << " This was achieved despite #{["fighting", "running away from", "seriously fucking up"].sample} a Kaiju #{["with unmatched power and ferocity", "that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat", "that had pretty much no fucking clue at all", "with extremely low self-esteem", "that had absolutely zero friends", "that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something", "with an unexplained fondness for show tunes", "with some of the weakest bullshit attacks ever seen by mankind", "a code name of \"Ass Chuckle\" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough", "that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past"].sample}."
	end

Ruby

assholerimjob

@@perhaps = %W(Perhaps As\swe\sall\sknow Certainly We\scan\ssafely\ssay)
	@@famous = %W(famous infamous heroic questionable legendary)
	@@operations_prefix = %W(Secret Erotic Rainbow Heroic Unyielding Frisky Flagrant Final Magical Highway Unstoppable Resilient Defiant Stalwart)
	@@operations = %W(Hercules Hogwarts Sword Cumberbatch Diddler Eruption Rumble Nightmare Freedom Ragnarok Asshole Derelict Magical Unicorn Asskicking Storm Rimjob Panty\sRaid)
	@@operation_quantities = ["several hundred", "several thousand", "countless", "many", "two or three", "a whole bunch of", "nearly all of the Earth's"]
	@@operation_recipients_good = ["orphans", "children", "homeless drunks", "Shake Shacks", "abortion clinics", "unwed mothers", "cancer patients", "schoolchildren", "psychopaths", "condemned criminals", "innocent bystanders", "kittens", "puppies", "leading scientists"]
	@@operation_recipients_bad = ["a fellow Jaeger pilot", "a small amount of time", "a single flower", "some dude's record collection", "money on car insurance", "its reputation", "this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important", "the oldest remaining public library in Topeka", "this one guy nobody even likes", "a couple of beat-up Chevy Malibus", "several terabytes of pornography"]