Repositories (1)
JOSHUA
25 snippets stored for this repo
PHP'hamburger' => 'The <a href="http://www.recipezaar.com/Royal-Red-Robin-Burger-143864" class="blank">Royal Red Robin Burger</a> is the king of all hamburgers. And I should know, <a href="misc/alexander_the_burger_king.jpg" class="view">I eat a lot of junk food</a>.',
'dentist' => '<p>When I was a kid I soon realized that my teeth were made of glass. Because every time I sat in a dentist chair they wouldn\'t let me leave until at least three or four cavities were taken care of. So naturally I developed a fear of the dentist. Now that I\'m older that means I won\'t go before the pain is tantamount to getting kicked in the balls repeatedly by a field goal kicker.<p>But you know what would ease my pain? Not being charged an arm and a leg for this torture. What the fuck, Norway? You mean to tell me I can go to the hospital and a surgeon will fix me up practically for free, but a dentist will charge me half a months paycheck for less work? Guess I\'m chewing painkillers and booking a flight to Poland.',
'sheldon' => 'Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.',guy left me with after Kids. How can you go from making that instant classic to this fucking dribble?
<p>Huge spoiler alert ahead. Stop reading now if you care, I don\'t. Ken Park is this fucking skaterkid who
kills himself in the beginning. Then you sit through this whole film of teens fucking with added, stupendously boring, dialogue.
At the end you find out the reason he killed himself is because his girlfriend is pregnant and wants to keep it.
<i>Blow me.</i>'
),'yes' => 'Aw yiss.',
'pfft' => 'Dude, whatever.',
'no' => 'Don\'t you mean yes?',
'cunt' => 'Fuck off, you pissed up slapper.',
'robot' => 'if (!full(battery)) { charge(battery); } else { for(i = 0; i < 4; i++) { var we = \"the robots\"; } }',
'meaning' => 'I\'m too tired for this Zen bullshit. YOLO.',
'format' => '<p class="joshua">'.$joshua.'Come on, did you really expect that to work?',LordChewy: its his porn folder",
"[BAC]Draxon|TWL: \"The animals will hear!\" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.<br>
[BAC]Draxon|TWL: oops<br>
[BAC]Draxon|TWL: wrong window<br>
d|syztem: what the FUCK",'draw' => 'Sure, choose "Draw" in the <span class="command">customize</span> menu and have at it.',
'love' => 'Baby don\'t hurt me, don\'t hurt me, no more.',
'contact' => 'You can leave a <span class="command">msg</span> or <a href="mailto:alexander@binaerpilot.no">send me an email</a> and I\'ll be in touch.',
'motherfucker' => 'You got me, I did in fact have sex with your mother. On multiple occasions. I\'d like to take this opportunity to apologize.',
'motherfuckers' => 'Wanna get with me. Lay with me, love with me, all right.',
'sex' => 'It\'s a good thing.',
'nice' => 'Thanks!','no' => 'Don\'t you mean yes?',
'cunt' => 'Fuck off, you pissed up slapper.',
'robot' => 'if (!full(battery)) { charge(battery); } else { for(i = 0; i < 4; i++) { var we = \"the robots\"; } }',without sounding snotty. But it\'s true. This movie manages to completely ruin the good impression that
guy left me with after Kids. How can you go from making that instant classic to this fucking dribble?<p>God suck it down. Seriously fucking get down and suck. AAAAAH! I hate this FUCKING piece of shit movie. I hate the director.
Yeah you. Fuck you. Fucking cock. I want to write you a letter; Dear fucking cuntfaced director-prick.
You cocklicking whorish spermsucking son of a bitch. I hope you suffer the most agonozing and foul death ever bestowedDeadMansHand: What'd he say when he woke up this morning?<br>
Thirteen-: uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?<br>
DeadMansHand: holy fuck.<br>
DeadMansHand: i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now<br>
DeadMansHand: im fucking going back to the beach to make sure<br>
DeadMansHand: if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this<br>
Thirteen-: will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.<br>PeteRepeat: fucking ken<br>
PeteRepeat: ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot<br>
quiqsilver: pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.<br>RdAwG20: lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?<br>
T-Wolf: you mother fucker",'format' => '<p class="joshua">'.$joshua.'Come on, did you really expect that to work?',
'fuck' => 'Possibly the best word in the English language, you fucker.',
'pointless' => 'A circle.','contact' => 'You can leave a <span class="command">msg</span> or <a href="mailto:alexander@binaerpilot.no">send me an email</a> and I\'ll be in touch.',
'motherfucker' => 'You got me, I did in fact have sex with your mother. On multiple occasions. I\'d like to take this opportunity to apologize.',
'motherfuckers' => 'Wanna get with me. Lay with me, love with me, all right.',"JonTG: Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z<br>
JonTG: wait, shit",'farts' => 'Would you look at that? A lil mouse ran in and tooted.',
'shit' => 'NO U',
'yarr' => 'Harr harr! You\'d be wise to try the pirate style, matey!','review' => '
<p>Not technically a poop-session, but after I saw it, I was never in doubt that it belonged here.
What a piece of shit movie. Everybody has been talking about it. <i>"Real sex scenes"</i> blabla.
<i>"Provoking movie"</i> horseshit. </i>"From the guy who made <i>Kids"</i> like that\'s the hallmark of quality.
<p>I enjoyed <i>Kids</i>, but this movie was a huge windup for nothing. It doesn\'t even make sense.
<i>"But it really has something to say."</i> Haha, are you high? About what? It only provokes for the sake of provoking.'money' => 'Is a useless measure of wealth.',
'life' => 'But how to live it?',
'ass' => 'Better than titties.',
'bitch' => 'Love me \'cause they know that I can rock.',
'sucker' => 'Like in the back seat of a Volkswagen?',
'rude' => 'Oh fuck off.',
'aww' => 'Teehee!',Yeah you. Fuck you. Fucking cock. I want to write you a letter; Dear fucking cuntfaced director-prick.
You cocklicking whorish spermsucking son of a bitch. I hope you suffer the most agonozing and foul death ever bestowed
upon any mortal being. Nuns will defecate on your grave for all of eternity. You fucking musical-fan.Cthon98: er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw<br>
AzureDiamond: oh, ok.",
"tatclass: YOU ALL SUCK DICK<br>
tatclass: er.<br>
tatclass: hi.<br>
andy\code: A common typo.<br>"MooseOnDaLoose: Hey Mike<br>
goatboy: what?<br>
MooseOnDaLoose: Pussy.<br>
goatboy: er?<br>
MooseOnDaLoose: Pussy.<br>
goatboy: and?<br>'goodbye' => 'Hasta la vista, baby.',
'asdf' => 'qwerty',
'tron' => 'He fights for the Users.',
'dickblast' => 'Pussy explosion!',
'cmd' => '<p class="joshua">'.$joshua.'Are you trying to inception?',
'larry3d' => 'Does a pair of queens beat 3 deuces?',
'money' => 'Is a useless measure of wealth.',<?php $quotes = array(
"How does someone reach the point where they get turned on by Brazilian fart porn? They were masturbating behind the couch as a kid when suddenly their mom farted. Damage done.",
"I'm sad because I'm just smart enough to realize the stupid people have more fun.",
"Sometimes I'll hear a great song from a band I don't like and get mad, because apparently I'm a sad and bitter old bastard.",
"<Write a long sentence on any subject and end it with> something something, axe murder.",
"The sexy nerd that I am, I can honestly say; Oxymorons have more fun.",
"Why do so many furries have pets? Doesn't that make relationships confusing? Do not think about this.",ChrisLMB: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com<br>
<span class=\"light\">*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)</span>",
"T-Wolf: man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert<br>
RdAwG20: you don't live in Hope mills do you?<br>
T-Wolf: ya, why man?<br>
RdAwG20: lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?<br>gang til. Alle innvolverte parter i denne produksjonen burde lide en lang og smertefull død.
<p>
Dette er en unnskyldning av en film, kun laget for å vise hvor høyt Mr. Dutch Kickboxing Faggot \'87 kan sparke.
Som heller ikke er så jævlig høyt siden alle dinosaurene er 20cm høye og bare blir holdt nært kamera.
Jeg angrer, faen som jeg angrer.NES: I message him and say \"What are you doing? I just got that from you\"<br>
NES: \"getting my song back fucker\"",
"Th3No0b: Im going to be the next hitler<br>
Th3No0b: Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown<br>
RageAgainsttheAmish: why the clown<br>
Th3No0b: See? no one cares about the jews<br>